All of this happened, more or less.
It was a bright cold day in April and the clocks were striking thirteen; well, actually it was December, but you get the point. Bright cold days are especially suited to the making of terrible decisions, and predictably, we did not prove to be the exemption to the rule. So it was that one of us found himself clad in spandex in 40 degree weather, wondering how it was possible that he did not think of bringing spare inflator while looking down at two flat tires. After a few minutes of attempting tire revival through the tried and true method of hurling 4 letter words at them (makes up in satisfaction what it lacks in effectiveness), Jesus decided that he was doomed to pushing his wounded bicycle a few miles back to his house and grudgingly began to do so. Blissfully unaware of this drama, a few blocks away pedaled Christine back to her house. She had ridden this route dozens of times, so she really had no excuse for making the wrong turn she then proceeded to make; but like I said, especially suited to making terrible decisions. As she continued down her strange ride, she spied something in the distance. That something took the form of a lost, sad-puppy looking character pushing a bicycle with two flat tires. Jesus saw salvation rolling towards him in black, winter 2XU tights; and never had salvation looked so good.
In the age old tradition of men meeting people they find attractive, Jesus proceeded to try to impress Christine with his tire changing skill while he (apparently imperceptibly) tried to flirt with her. The problem with this situation is that there was another age old tradition at play; the one where the part of your brain that controls fine motor skills completely shuts down around people we find attractive. Consequently, Jesus proceeded to mess the entire process up and Christine had no choice but to keep him company for a while. Somehow, Jesus managed to convince Christine to go on a date with him, and the rest is, as they say, history. As for myself, I look forward to this future eagerly, as I know that ‘It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known.’
-Jesus
